Wednesday, October 21, 2009

A Step at a Time

My girlfriend is moving in with me!

I can't say this is a drastic change since she practically lived here already but it does tend to put me in a different head space. My relationship is progressing and I feel good about that.

I was looking at my sweet one yesterday and thinking yet again, "how did I ever get this lucky?" I may never know but I hope always to be aware of it.

I'm starting to look differently at the clutter I've accumulated in my space and really try to decide what I need and what I can lose without missing or mourning the loss. It is also a good opportunity to find better ways of organizing what I do want to keep.

Step-stools. I think I need more step-stools. I have a good bit of space on top shelves but they are not very accessible for everyday use. I also really wish more of my shelving pulled out or rotated. Looks like a trip to Ikea may be in order...

It is strange to think of myself as holding on to things simply out of a sense of duty or habit or loyalty to the givers. I look at various objects around my house and remember, 'My mother gave me that, or my ex wife bought that.' Somehow I feel if I throw it away or sell it or donate it they will know and be hurt. Silly I know. Kind of like holding on to anger because we feel it actually punishes the object of our ire. It doesn't of course. It punishes us. Maybe guilt is punishing me also.

This week I vow to look at what I have accumulated and decide if it really provides me with utility, comfort or joy. If not, it needs to live with someone else, or decompose somewhere.

Wish me luck. I can't look into the future living with all these ghosts. How appropriate that I choose to exorcise them on Halloween.


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