Death and Destruction

Truly there are things in this world that test our faith. The fact that religious leaders cannot tell us any more than anyone else why there is senseless death, disease and tragedy in this world does not comfort us. It tends to upset most of all the somewhat faithful, that see blind faith as belonging to their parents, but somehow missing the big picture for themselves.

I met an atheist recently. We were out on a date and she told me she doesn't believe in God. I found this to be the biggest red flag of the evening. I can certainly understand being an educated person and- if you have no particular religious indoctrination- seeing faith as somewhat antiquated and superstitious. That said, I can't imagine being in a relationship with an atheist. Agnostic- sure. Pagan, Wiccan, Jew, fallen Catholic, Buddhist, whatever the flavor- but no belief in a higher power at all has me stumped. I think it would affect how I saw them.

Funny though, I probably had my biggest crises of faith when I was between the place of knowing nothing to knowing... well, a bit more than nothing where I am now. I renewed my faith when I started to see the nature of God as loving energy that set us in motion. We are far too small to control like puppets so I don't think that is God's purpose at all. Just as you won't (and in most cases- can't) control your children in certain decisions, you instead provide a framework and trust that even if they make the wrong decisions, they are learning- and the purpose of life is to learn.

I found out on Monday that a friend's sister committed suicide. I have no words for my friend to comfort her but I can tell you that this incident forced my roommate R to speak to me for the first time in 3 weeks. It also put a few petty grievances in perspective. I was telling someone the other day that we have a short lifespan for a reason. We have pain and tragedy for a reason too. I honestly believe that love would not exist if there was never a chance it could be lost. We appreciate things and pay attention because it is fleeting. How many of us remember more fondly the short-lived intense connections that broke our heart while not always fully giving thanks for the sweet person at our side day after day?

There are those out there that will always curse the rain and ignore the sunshine. Sometimes that person is me. Today I'm lucky.