A Confession

I can no longer deny it.

I'm bored. Bored to the point of wandering the halls. Bored to the point of calling people just to talk and going to websites in which I have absolutely no interest. This "job" is sucking my soul.

You'd think I could be happy just sitting in a chair all day and getting $25 an hour for the privilege of taking up space.

No.

I hate it.

I've tried not to hate it, but honestly this 'job' is like the employment equivilent of a sensory deprivation chamber. I have no co-workers. I have no team. I barely have a manager. I'm sitting in an office with my back against my boss- who is constantly in meetings and although he gives me a cheerful greeting every day- really has almost no interaction with me. As bad as it sounds I really hope this job ends in two weeks. I can't handle the lack of structure, the lack of real accomplishment, the knowledge that I contributed exactly zero to the success of this organization.

I look at the people I pass in the hall and think, "I bet you do something for your pay." It is also pretty intolerable to know most people around me actually think I'm working. For a while this was novel. Now its just misery.

I'm applying for jobs, but I have to admit- there are even fewer jobs in my field available now than when I lost my job in April. I also haven't gotten more than an automated response or two and some outright rejections from the applications I have sent out so far. I may be out of work longer this time than the last.

You would think ANY work would be better than unemployment. Working for the 'job-that-is- not-work' doesn't really qualify.

If you read this, send some good energy out for me. I need a perm job that really does expect me to accomplish something. This has really turned into the No Purpose Driven Job.