Friday, May 01, 2009

9 O'clock and All's Well

I'm making efforts to shut down the parts of my life that attract attention from single women. I've deleted my profiles on several singles sites and have written or talked to several women who were in my 'orbit' of late and explained I want to focus on what may be a major new connection.

Everyone has been very supportive and understanding. A couple have expressed good-natured disappointment but overall it feels very freeing and true.

As for things with K... mmmm. She slept in my bed Wednesday night.

I usually have difficulty sharing a bed with someone new. I have to adjust to the space they occupy and I feel constrained by the change. This was different. She slept mostly curled against my back and I slept deeply and securely. When I rolled and shifted she turned in tandem and she sleepily pulled my arm around her body as I turned to sleep against her spine. She was warm and affectionate without being smothering.

Last night I asked her favorite holiday. If you know me well you know it is a big question for me. Although I accept those who answer Beltane, Solstice, Halloween or whatever, her answer warmed me to my core. Christmas. She loves Christmas. The giving, the warmth, the smell, the family...

She asked me my favorite season. I told her I liked things about all of them but I think I liked seasons best when they signaled change. I like Spring when the earth comes back to life after a long slumber and I like Fall, when coolness and color herald the end of a time without a chilly breeze and thoughts of evenings by the fire. She agreed, stating she thinks she likes Spring a bit more but loved the change of seasons for the same reasons.

I asked her if she wanted to come to my church service this weekend. She could not because that morning she was running a 5k and then going through the ceremony to join her church at MCC. G-d finally sent me a Christian.

This feels very, very good.

If you see me around and I have a stupid smile and look like I'm about to veer into a wall as I walk just gently steer me. I'm not used to this abundance.


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