Friday, February 15, 2008

The Dime Story

I found a dime last night when I was horrid and cranky and awful to my sweet friend trying to cheer me up. The dime made my night which confused J, who had been trying all night to get me to smile the way I did when I found it. She was pretty irked until I told her the dime story and then she told me I needed to write it, so here goes...

Several years ago I was selling my old car. It was one I had bought from my aunt and uncle after my cousin (the former owner) died of AIDS. I was finally making enough money so I decided to buy a new car all on my own for the first time in my life. I arranged to have my old car picked up midday from my office and all I needed was to walk to the bus stop from work and take the bus downtown to the dealership for the new car.

When I started walking towards the stop I realized I only had a dollar bill and 40 cents in change in my pocket. Now the bus driver doesn't give change and I didn't want to use my whole dollar for a fifty cent fare so I sent a message to the universe (God). I told God I needed a dime. Just a dime, not much to ask for and certainly He could afford it. So, I set about the walk from the office to the stop, keeping my eyes peeled for the dime I had faith to find on the way. I stared at every shiny object, every crevice, every round flat bit of detritus, knowing I would find my dime before arriving at the stop.

So, what happened next? Well, the neatly packaged inspirational story would have me find my dime and my prayer would be answered, showing all that God rewards the faithful.

Well, no.

I didn't find the dime and had to give my whole dollar for the bus fare and I was none too pleased.

So, I had another convo with the big guy. "Geez, was it so much to ask? One dime? I ask so little of life, I mean really?"

Well, after that experience I now, consistently, regularly, at every turn, every opportunity, and especially every trying, low time in my life, find dimes. Everywhere. Parking lots, coin returns, on hikes, on sidewalks, every imaginable location.

So, is this some sort of universal joke? Yes. God has a great sense of humor. See, I may think I know when something is needed but God replies- "Not your schedule. Mine." Now as I find my regular gift of a dime, I grin a huge grin and know God and the angels are laughing with delight. And I am loved, not forgotten, and always looked after.

It's nice to have an inside joke with the creator.

Here's hoping you find your dimes.

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Thursday, February 14, 2008

Batting 1000

So New Years sucked, and now Valentine's Day sucked. I think holidays are just out to get me this year.

I don't know why I ventured out to the bar scene tonight. All I wanted was a quiet evening at home but no. Three women- all of which are dating people- still managed to schedule band practice in my house, which forced me out into the night in a foul mood. Janet tried her best to pull me out but I was having none of it. I was cranky, negative, lethargic and dark. Adding to the irony was hearing her say some of the same things I said to H last night- to me tonight. "You just don't know what's out there waiting for you." Yeah, well it's not waiting at The CockPit or Rainbow Cattle Company. I absolutely hate going to bars when I'm in a dark mood. I tend to find myself in RCC surveying the crowd and thinking, "This is my dating pool. Kill me now."

Nothing to worry about, my small but loyal group of readers. I'm sure this is the tail end of some sort of hormonal swing and I'll be back to my chipper self in no time. But of course when I'm happy I don't feel compelled to write so look for me again when the darkness is nigh.

Monday, February 04, 2008

New Beginnings

I planted my garden today.

I love tilling the soil, mixing in compost, pulling the weeds and tossing out rocks. Every year the ground gets just a little bit better. Today I put in broccoli, cauliflower, snow peas, onions, and two kinds of lettace. My best day of gardening is the day I plant. The ground is pristine and the seeds hold endless promise. I can forget that there are pests, or it doesn't rain or crops die or don't produce well. Today faith as tiny as a lettace seed can foretell incredible bounty.

Such is my life. I remember the best, renewing my optimism at every season and wipe the slate clean. I may remember the things that don't work at all, like the sweet but prickly blackberries that never seem to take root, but every year gets better. Every year I have hope. And I know if I keep putting my hope and my care and my attention into it. I will have a great harvest. And if the goddess has other plans? There's always next year.