The Island of Dr. Nightmare

Well, at least it was for a few people that night.

My sweet one and I went to an HRC fund-raiser called Dinah Lakeshore this weekend. It's a swanky little mixer where they shuttle you over to a little island on Lake Austin for drinks, dancing, tasty treats and apparently for some, unwanted run-ins with nightmare exes. I tend lately to be remarkably unscathed in such matters-- most of my exes still enjoy my company socially or at worst are safely several states away. Not such good luck for some this weekend.

There would have to be a very complicated flowchart involved to explain how all the involved parties were interconnected but imagine something along the scale of a very crowded game of Twister. My friend P very pithily described the crowd as containing '2/3 of the Axis of Evil'. I had the unique, sometimes amusing, sometimes heartrending position of being friends with many on the receiving end of the AoE and it saddened me to see how unsavory and unhealthy people can suck the oxygen out of the great outdoors.

I had an email exchange with my ex-wife today and I couldn't resist posting her quote:
'I think she [SHE being 1/3 of the AoE] has borderline personality disorder. A psychologist told me you can tell if you've got one in your group of friends and acquaintances: there will always be people who are mad at each other. After about the fifth grade, this doesn't happen naturally. It takes an instigator.'

A wise woman my ex.

Anyway, all came through unscathed- except maybe psychically, and hopefully the healing can continue. I'm not sure why but I feel lighter, more optimistic and generally cheerful than I have in a while. I'll have to ponder a bit on why. Maybe seeing that amount of unhappiness just further cements what I have to be thankful about.

The night ended as it should. I got to dance with my sweetheart to the song I requested and ride quietly back to the shore with my love leaning against my shoulder. I am truly blessed. I wish everyone- especially those who have been entangled with their own Wicked Witch of the East, much health, healing and the peace that comes from making your way home with the one who holds your heart as precious as their own.
"I Will Follow You Into The Dark"

Health and Happiness

I had a very lovely weekend. Friday night we went to the Drag King musical and it was delightful. The kings really put a lot more effort than usual into these events and we had a great time. We especially loved the Michael Jackson tribute Thriller Dance and also the Newsies number. The fact that my BFF C was in these pieces might have had a touch to do with it but honestly they really were the most delightful and well done bits of the night. The choreography was impressive and I like the creativity that performing songs from musicals allows. I did, however, reconfirm that I hate microphones as I demonstrated by completely going dumbstruck when the host put one in my face. Horrors!

Saturday was a day full of activity and was quite enjoyable. In the morning we went on a hike with the group and it was great. There were lots of streams criss-crossing our path and the dogs that came along had a blast splashing around in the water and then running back to join us. We had a couple of new hikers this week and everyone seemed to enjoy the outing. I managed to save a little kid from going over a waterfall when he got too close and slipped. He looked pretty terrified but he would have only fallen about 4 feet. I probably only saved him from getting wet and muddy but sometimes its the small things that count.

In the evening I caught up with my good friend R over dinner at the Woodland. Their food is very unusual and tasty and it was great to see my bud. I don't get to see her as much as I used to and in a lot of ways I feel our lives are going in different directions but I'm glad we can still make time to catch up when we have a chance.

Sunday morning K and I drove out to Pace Bend park to watch her mom compete in a triathlon. It's pretty amazing that both mom and daughter love to do athletic things like this. It seemed to endear K's mom to me a bit that I suggested we come out and cheer her on. She and her friend ended up winning their age group! I was very impressed!

While there, K and I were going to put in the kayaks for a while but it seemed hotter and more humid than usual and I felt a greater than average sensitivity to the heat and begged off for a more mild day. We then instead went to lunch with K's folks which was actually beneficial in a lot of ways. I was able to bond with them a bit and feel a little more comfortable around them. Also since K's mom had just run a triathlon we were not at a loss for topics of discussion.

Later that afternoon I made a pie and some other goodies and we went to a pot luck at my friend D's house. We had a great time socializing and finally managed to get a couple of doctor friends of ours in the same room to meet. Can't swear anything will happen between them but at least they had common things to discuss.

I also found out that D and M have chosen a wedding date! March 13th. And... D asked me to be her best woman! I'm very excited! This will be the 3rd time I've been a best woman at a wedding. The other 2 were pretty low-maintenance but I think I'll have my hands full with D. She has a tendency to get a bit frazzled under pressure so I think at some point in the day I will schedule her for a massage to relax a bit so she doesn't just freak out and start running wildly about like a trapped deer. I have to admit it is a little surreal to be asked to stand up at the wedding of my good friend to my ex, but I couldn't have chosen a better match if I did it myself. Oh wait! I DID! :)

Oh, one more bit of news for the day. An ex of mine that I like to call the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come, or GOCYTC, has had another breakup of a short-lived relationship. I noticed this from her request for support from her friends via Facebook page. I felt as the supportive ex I try to be, I posted some words of encouragement for her. She deleted my comment and in turn responded in typical GOCYTC fashion, which included finding a way to be a jerk to me for the umpteenth time. I finally had enough and decided to let her know it. I wrote and told her that I had tolerated her snippy remarks and anger in the past, thinking I just needed a thicker skin around her. I also pointed out that although I consistently made an effort to write encouraging things to her or show support, she was not reciprocal in this regard. I told her I had had enough, that I wished her well and hoped this letter would not be taken as an opportunity to unleash on me once again. I then deleted her from my friend list. Bleah. I have had a long and frustrating history with this woman and it is only a slight comfort to see she implodes on just about everyone in her world eventually-- especially anyone who has dated her. I have to remind myself that is about as classic BPD as anyone can get and that kind of person is just a toxic time bomb. I do feel sorry for her though-- and I feel sorry for any mental illness that separates people from real connections in life. I just need to remind myself that in order to keep myself safe and sane, I need to leave that kind of disfunction alone. So long C- back to the universe for help and healing. I will continue to keep you in my thoughts an prayers and hope someday you get the insight you need to move forward.

Peace

*Note to my tiny band of readers: This blog is not visible to the person I spoke about above and my message to her was more of message to the universe and a reminder to myself to make healthy choices in my life.

Pennies from Heaven

Last night I found a $100 bill. Yeah- how often does that happen? K and I were out for an evening stroll to stop by the night drop at the library and we usually circle around and walk through a little funky shopping center by my house. We were walking along and chatting about how much we like the weird little indie businesses in the center when I noticed a scrap of paper lying on the ground a few feet away. I thought at first it looked like a coupon of some sort but as I got closer it seemed to look like a dollar bill. I told K to wait just a sec and stepped over to pick it up. As I reached down I realized it was not a 1-dollar bill but 100! I was floored. I scampered back over to K and whispered 'Oh my G-d'. It's a hundred dollars!' It was pretty obvious there was no way to return it to the person who lost it. The lot was abandoned and the bill was loose in the lot. My first impulse was to present it to K. She quickly refused, saying it was mine and I should keep it. I argued that G-d dropped it for me but it was a gift and didn't belong to me. I wanted to give it to someone who had less resources and since K had just been reduced to 1/2 time at work I thought she could use it. She still refused so I started thinking about other options. I then thought of my friend D who just 2 days ago smashed up her car and incurred $1000 in repair bills. I called and left a message for her to call me and that I had good news for her. When she called back I told her I wanted to give her the money. She laughed for a moment and told me I was the sweetest person she knew but that her parents were paying for the repairs and she could not take the money from me.

Damn! I never expected it would be this much trouble giving away $100!

We ultimately thought of an idea. She said there was a child at her school that was going through some surgeries and maybe we could find a way to buy a gift card for the family and a gift for the child while in the hospital. I thought this was a great idea since the school is in my neighborhood and the money would be put to use close to where it was found.

So, that's the plan. I'm glad I can be a good steward for money that Heaven rains down.

Adventures in Domesticity

It seems there is an epidemic of normality breaking out in my community. I was watching my TV Girlfriend (Rachel Maddow) the other night and she said there has been a study that found the divorce rate in Massachusetts has actually gone DOWN since gay marriage began in that state. So instead of being the downfall of marriage, there may be a sign that gay marriage has increased the stability of marriage. Interesting...

A lot of my friends are married or engaged now. My friends R & S got married in Canada a year or so ago. My friends D & M are now engaged, my friends H and K are getting married next month and my friends A & S are now expecting a baby. I would be lying if I said that K and I had not discussed these things ourselves. I stubbornly refuse to be the stereotypical u-haul relationship but we are certainly committed and planning a future together. I do however remember with a bit of embarrassment that I was engaged a couple of years ago and that turned out to be a mistake. I'm taking things slowly but the idea of marriage and children has an appeal. The appeal so soon after an engagement disaster has everything to do with finding the right person- and that part is feeling very right.

Anyway, I like the evolution of the modern lesbian. A few years ago when I first went to Michfest I don't remember many children at all on the land. Now the place is teaming with strollers, little children and the big swath of camping where I originally pitched my tent is now designated for 'moms with children'. Nice.

This is not the future I thought I would have to settle for when I came out. I'm glad some things change for the better.

Oh-ho, hey-hey, it's a National Holiday...

I hope everyone had a delightful and relaxing long weekend. Unfortunately I had to work a few hours on Saturday. No rest for the weary state worker providing new food for hungry babies. SuperWIC to the rescue!

Besides that little snag in my otherwise bucolic respite, it was quite enjoyable. Early Saturday morning I met with a few friends to hike the Turkey Creek Trail at Emma Long park. My poor sweetie was not feeling well and to add more injury to insult, got a nasty bite from her cat as she tried to corral him to come back inside after her roomie let him run out. So, imagine not feeling well and then getting a call to drive across town and crawl around through hedges, under cars and through neighbor's yards only to be rewarded by your beloved pet sinking his fangs into your thumb as you attempt rescue. A perfect morning to return to my warm and peaceful house and return to bed, hoping the second awakening will be an improvement.

Even sans lovely hike- leader we had a very nice hike. The wooded trail was shady and the prior night's rain made the trail a bit gloppy but cooler than usual and quite invigorating. The folks that did brave the humid, muddy weather were a good combination of folks and made for enjoyable conversation and good times.

After a few dreary hours at the office that afternoon I went out with my sweetie for a nice dinner then for a stroll down S. Congress. The next morning we had breakfast with BFF C, then went to church. Afterward I bought a few movies and K and I had a nice leisurely afternoon. On Labor Day we went to see Julie and Julia at Alamo Draft House. I highly recommend this movie and found myself smiling throughout. Meryl Streep is amazing and quite convincing at Julia Child and I loved the concept. Made me really crave some Bœuf Bourguignon!

In the afternoon we took the Kayaks out and met up with Dr. S to paddle around Town Lake. We paddled up to Redbud Island and then decided to paddle around it and look at the dam. Paddling against the current while the dam is releasing water is a little like paddling up a whitewater rapid. Twice I was pushed back against a concrete embankment as I made my way through an opening around the island and I owe great thanks to K and Dr. S for cheering me on as I fought the current and won on the 3rd try. I definitely admit my skinny girlfriend is better at kayaking than me. Not sure why I can bench so much more and still be swept away in a current she was able to push past. My ego was bruised but I survived, even while ending up whacking into the picnicking spot of some kids on the island. I did appreciate that they gave me a round of applause when I got through!

When we finished the adventure in the water we went to a salon put on by a friend of K's. This was a salon in the original sense of the word as described in Wikipedia: Salon (gathering), private and public, of intellectuals to meet, discuss ideas and watch artistic performances.
We had some excellent food- especially the peanut soup, and some wine and settled in to discuss our ideas of Labor Day. We watched some clips on the history of the holiday on the Internet and then discussed opinions of labor forces, class-ism, unions and then managed to meander to the topic of concealed carry handgun laws. It was an enjoyable gathering and I hope to do it again soon.

I have yammered on for quite some time now so I will stop. I hope your holiday weekend was as wonderful as mine. To my small but loyal band of readers, I wish you well.

Long time gone, I know...

Yes, it's been a while since I've written. I sometimes forget that people do actually read this on occasion. I'll give you the 50-cent update on my activities for the month of August.

First, K and I went to Michfest! Yay! It was wonderful. We actually drove, which was a bit insane but we had a nice time and it allowed us to visit my folks and also my ex R, who let us crash at her aunti-house in Chicago southside. Michfest itself was wonderful and I got out of my cranky travel mood very soon after we arrived. We did workshops, saw wonderful music, camped in the cool weather, saw movies, ate VERY healthy food and generally had a blast.

Shockingly enough, K and I had such a lovely time traveling across the country we decided to take another road trip last week. A very last minute trip to New Orleans. Again, I was a cranky traveler but cheered up once we arrived in the Big Easy. We stayed at a funky little hotel in the Garden District I highly recommend (Prytania Park Hotel) and spent our days wandering about the quarter being tourists. I also got to reconnect with my sweet Katrina guest Vincent. He seems to be doing well and his girlfriend is very sweet and generous, albeit a bit jealous and moody. Hard to understand all those things in one person but that is indeed an accurate description. We met Vincent for Pizza at a place called Slice and then bar-hopped the quarter until time for Tribella's show. Oh, yeah- forgot to mention Rae's band played a music fest that weekend which is what prompted our last-minute road trip. Overall, great food, good company, and sweet times were had by all.

Life in general? Quite good. My brother is leveling out with his health issues and seems to be slowly improving. He may come to the Heart Hospital here in Austin next month for a workup.
K is her usual fab self. We are coming up on 6 months together and I wake up every day ridiculously happy and thankful she is in my life.
My mama just turned 70 on Wednesday. She seems youthful and well which is quite gratifying. All is well with the world if mama is well.

OK that is pretty much my summer so far. I'll try to fill in a few more details soon. Leave me a comment lovely readers- I'd like to hear from YOU too!