Hold That Thought

The post from yesterday may not be happening after all. She likes me, this one. I like her back- probably more than I should. Definitely more than I expected. It is impossible. It is not logical, but I'm not done.
She told me something I'd never heard before. The opposite of what I always DO hear. She said- "I'm not going to tell you that you would be perfect for somebody else. You are perfect- for me." Think I'm walking away without a fight? Not this time.

Owch

"School Night"
Ani D.

she went over to his apartment
clutching her decision
and he said, did you come here to tell me goodbye?
so she built a skyscraper of procrastination
and then she leaned out the twenty-fifth floor window
of her reply
and she felt like an actress
just reading her lines
when she finally said
yes. it's really goodbye this time
and far below was the blacktop
and the tiny toy cars
and it all fell so fast
and it all fell so far

and she said:
you are a miracle but that is not all
you are also a stiff drink and i am on call
you are a party and i am a school night
and i'm lookin' for my door key
but you are my porch light

and you'll never know, dear
just how much i loved you
you'll probably think this was
just my big excuse
but i stand committed
to a love that came before you
and the fact that i adore you

is but one of my truths
*******

Well, if I'm going to be broken up with, I'd have to say that was the best way possible. I'm an idiot of course. Never realized how much I wanted her and how impossible that was. Well, life is not over and heartache makes me remember I have a heart to begin with. All is as it should be. Goodbye sweet Corey.

Unusual and little-known facts about me

I'm stealing this idea from Blue Ox. I love Blue, and her little blue family.

1. I'm 3 degrees from Kevin Bacon. Really.
2. I grew up on government cheese and veggies from our garden.
3. I'm 1/8th Cherokee. The only way it manifests is an intolerance for alcohol and I don't grow hair on my legs.
4. My father once played guitar for George Jones.
5. My mother once won us a free Thanksgiving turkey by staying in the a store all day and playing a baloon-catching game once an hour. She won the very last time. If she hadn't done it, we wouldn't have had anything to eat.
6. My uncle once met Elvis in a bathroom in Gilmer Texas.
7. I found a girlfriend's father by doing a web search. She was 21 and he had been missing since she was 2.
8. I was once in a movie with porn stars and politicians. (See #1)
9. God sends me dimes to remind me I'm loved.
10. I am thanked on the liner notes of every album by my favorite band.
11. I have the best friends anyone could ever ask for. No. Seriously.
12. I have worked in 5 companies where there have either been bomb threats or something has actually blown up.

Viva Hugo!

I love to visit Foxnews.com. It pretty much confirms what I believe since they will always be spouting the opposite. The news story below was presented like it would be shocking and horrible but I just thought to myself, Yep- I've been saying that for years. If you want to see something that will totally change your world view, find a showing or a copy of The Revolution Will Not Be Televised. It's not available in the US, except at special screenings but I bought a copy from the UK on Ebay. I'll loan it to anyone interested. Also- buy Chevron gasoline. It is from Venezulea instead of the middle east.

NEW YORK — Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez took his verbal battle with President Bush to the floor of the United Nations Wednesday, calling Bush "the devil" during an insult-riddled address to the General Assembly.
"The devil came here yesterday" Chavez said, gesturing to where Bush had stood during his speech on Tuesday. "He came here talking as if he were the owner of the world."
He later said he was referring to President Bush when he spoke of the devil
Brandishing a book by Noam Chomsky, Chavez urged the assembly and all Americans to read the leftist's ruminations on Washington political power.
Chavez, who joined Iran last week in an alliance against U.S. influence, while not directly naming President Bush, accused Washington of "domination, exploitation and pillage of peoples of the world."
"We appeal to the people of the United States and the world to halt this threat, which is like a sword hanging over our head," he said.
He also said the U.N. in its current system "doesn't work" and is "antidemocratic." He called for reform, saying the U.S. government's "immoral veto" had allowed recent Israeli bombings of Lebanon to continue unabated for more than a month.
"Venezuela once again proposes today that we reform the United Nations," he said.
He later proposed that the United Nations move its headquarters from New York to Venezuela.

9 o'clock and all's well...

Well, it's the middle of September and nothing has blown up in my face yet. All three grrls are still happy and delightfully crushed out on me and I am equally crushed out on all of them. Never thought affections could be so compartmentalized. I truly find wonderful and swoony qualities about all of the women in my life.

K is sweet to me and thoughtful and romantic. She's wicked smart and extremely mature. I can hardly believe she's the youngest in my trinity. Then I met her little boy. OMG- freaking genious kid and so cute I want to take him home and keep him forever! I'm a sucker for little guys since I have my nephews I adore. I have to say though, this guy is exceptional. Reading at 3 years old!!! K totally scored some free meat at the farmer's market when the little guy toddled up to his booth and read his sign that said "All natural American Lamb. American lamb from American land". I almost fainted myself and the guy behind the counter was so impressed he gave us a pack of ground lamb meat. Little G is like a party trick or something! Cute, cute cute.

Then there's R. We are really compatible. We communicate so easily and she feels so right. We totally speak the same language. So freaking funny and smart and sexy. I wish I could see her more.

Oh, and C. I'm drawn to her intensity and she seems the most emotionally available, but also the furthest away physicially. She's the one that makes me nervous too. Nervous in a good way, like she's so freaking beautiful I wonder what she's doing with me. Funny that she also seems to be the least confident around me. Maybe she just has no idea what power she holds.

I am not worthy, but I'll keep you posted.

Faith

Corey from Baton Rouge asked me the question below in email yesterday. I liked my answer so I thought I would post it:

tell me about how you came to Christianity and why you practice it?

OK, well Christianity was definitely influenced by my parents. I was raised in the Baptist church since I was a small child and to me, Christianity just made sense. It was also the only major religion I was exposed to so I may have had a different opinion if I had actually known about other options. As it is, my faith is not always consistent with Christian teaching, but I still hold the core beliefs. I do believe in a higher power and the teachings of Jesus are incredibly progressive, inclusive and radical. Jesus was very into social justice, and so am I.

I don't think I believe in God in the same way I did as a child- like some human-like creature who created us like some giant toymaker, but I do believe in a benevilent spirit force, be it wisdom, energy, oneness... I dunno. My current belief leans much more towards a quantum spirituality, like we are all cells in the body of God or that we are all God ourselves, or that we all have the potential to attain divinity once we reach an evolved level of awareness. As to why, since my beliefs are not really traditional Christian, am I still practicing Christianity? Familiarity and insurance, probably, although my current church is very close to my beliefs so it feels very right for me to be there. I certainly don't think my theories would be vastly different from those of my pastor.

Hanging Tough

Why did everyone else at the Boy Band Sing-a-long look like a sorority girl? Sometimes camp is lost on people...

Evil

It Takes A Nation

MoveOn.org, the group that created the Hurricane Housing database has published their book on the connections made between hosts and their guests (my word) from Katrina. I was floored when I looked at the photo of the cover and saw myself. Vincent is right there next to me looking all sweet like he always is.
I am so fortunate to get to have done this. The guests, not so fortunate. Vincent is welcome in my home anytime and I know I am welcome in his also. The tragedy did bring out some of the best in ordinary people, and some of the worst in our government. I can't wait to get the book in hand and read all the stories.